Second Email for God-My Confession in Nightmare

I woke up this morning with some dramatically voices.

Every one that still slept, forced to woke up because of that voices. What voice? Sucha pathatic voice you know? My crying. I’m moaned. I dunno. That’s what happened, some black creature ran behind me, it chased me in the dark then i just ran nowhere, till i heard another voice, my friend woke me up.

“Min, hey, please! Wake up! Its just a dream!”

No, hell. I can’t even opened my eyes. God bless me, when i made it. I saw my circumtances, in a very dark room, my bed room in the dorm. I guessed all my friends stared at me. Astonished. I just sat on my bed, then my cry change to a very lil sound. I sob, with lower voice. Then i right away took a pray, and after it, i just close my whole face with my hands. I must stop this silly crying. But, how? If the creature still surrounded me.

My friends only know, maybe i’m in a very high depressed. Or some kindo that. I’m too tired, too frustated. Or etc. But, most of all. The effort came from my real life. That occures nowadays. Quickly, i opened my chat. Just to make sure, it was only- really-my dream. I hugged my pillow. Then fell asleep till noon. And the bed room feel so empty. My roommate has went to school. I grab my bolster, hug in so tight.

“Did you know? It’s my second time dreaming like this shit,” I wishpered to my self.

“And YOU were the subject of all the stories in the dream,” I cried so sad, till i felt there was no tears more. I was just so down. “Did he die?” I checked my cell phone again. He just replied. “Dear, it was just a dream. Istighfar. It’s scared me alot too,” I can take a deep breath, finally, i though. No, he still alive. Even only replied with two sentences.

He started these whole problems. Doesn’t he understood i’m very in to it? He said that he wanna stop our intense conversation for a while, he wants to reduce the intensity

He died second time, in my dream. And i never expect any third time. I need him alive. He is my close friend. So close till i can imagine what might he do right now. I believe, maybe it’s only my reaction that too posessive with any other his change. That maybe, he only wanna make sure, how big our feels each other. Or, how much we need each other.

What the hell! I can’t make any range, no more. If he asked me to make a room between us. It’s like a request for me to forgot him, idiot! In my dream, we haven’t talk for several months–okey, i’ll tell you my dream.

Well Even my parents, told me, that the bad dream is forbid to tell.

Then several months we dont have any chat, i decided to make a call first. He never answered. And i send him a lot of message. From all social medias. He never read it. I wanna go back to my hometown. So i think, its stupid for us, if then we meet, in the other hand we have a BIG DEAL all along. “Dear boy, please, read my message. You dont need to reply, just, read. Please~” I sent him a text.

At last, his parents contacted me. His mom, with a deep sadly sound, talked to me. Tell that he has been waiting for me. So long. And he has been lying on his bad. Lying, on his bed? What does that stupid man do? I though hard.

I decided to just went home. I arrived at his home. And i can saw, there are lot of people with a sorrow noise, crying aloud. I opened my mouth, just to expressed how shock i was. He really did! He really waiting for me. With the pale face, and the white fabric close his body. I dropped my knees on to the floors. He has gone. I.. no.. it’s not.. real. God tell me it isn’t real!

I was too panic to approached his body, to confirm, that it was really him. I ran out his home, and cried so long. Then~ my friend tap my shoulder, softly. “Min, what happen?” I cant even say “ha”. I kept crying. Untill i realized, and opened my eyes just to see my roommates looked at me. Sympathy.

GOD, please. Just please don’t take him go. Not now.